When you’re expecting your first baby, the advice starts pouring in before the crib’s even been delivered, and it’s always going to be a mix – some of it’s helpful, some of it’s outdated, and some of it makes you wonder more than you did before. And of course, you’ll hear the main ones over and over – sleep when the baby sleeps, stock up on diapers, trust your instincts, and so on, but then there’s a whole category of advice that catches you off guard but that could be really useful, and with that in mind, keep reading to find out what some if it might be.
Take Breaks Without Feeling Guilty
Nobody tells you how hard it can be to leave your baby in someone else’s care for even an hour, but it’s also important to remember that you need breaks, and you definitely need moments where you’re not on high alert (and even if you don’t realize it, that’s how most parents live all the time). So being able to take a shower without rushing, have a coffee in silence, or perhaps walk to the shop on your own is actually more important than you might think.
So the advice here is to plan small, regular breaks and take them without feeling guilty, and do it even if you don’t feel like you need them yet, because getting into the habit will save you when the exhaustion really hits (which it will).
Don’t Fight The Phases
Your baby’s routine will change more times than you think possible, and just when you have naps sorted, they’ll switch things up. A lot of new parents spend weeks trying to get back to what was working before, only to find that the old routine just doesn’t fit anymore.
The unexpected tip with this is to not try to force them back into a previous pattern, and instead, see each change as a new starting point because it’s less stressful and much more likely to work in the long run.
Think About The Room
You’ll hear plenty about feeding and sleep schedules, but not as much about the space your baby sleeps in, but the thing to remember is that the infant sleeping temperature, the level of light, background noise, and so much more all matter more than you’d think. Babies are sensitive to these environmental cues, and getting them right can help everyone sleep better.
It’s not just about comfort either; the fact is that a safe, consistent sleeping environment can make those longer stretches of rest more likely, which means fewer wake ups in the night, and that’s better for everyone.
Have More Muslins Than You Think You Need
Every parent has a drawer, cupboard, or basket of things they bought and never used, but muslins are something you’ll use every single day, multiple times a day, and you might get to a point where you run out. These are such great things to have around because they’re not just for burping – they’ll be blankets, sunshades, emergency bibs, changing mats, and comforters. You’ll grab them when the baby is a bit sick, when you need to mop up milk, or when you need something soft to rest their head on, or really for anything else.
The tip here is simple: buy more than you think you’ll ever need, and maybe one more pack on top of that, because you’re sure to use them.
You Can’t Always Sleep When The Baby Sleeps
Yes, it’s great advice in theory, but in practice sometimes the only time your baby naps is the only time you have to load the washing machine, eat something, or just watch half an episode of a show you’ve been trying to finish for a while.
The more realistic advice is this: rest when you can, in whatever form works. Maybe that’s a nap, maybe it’s lying on the sofa scrolling on your phone, maybe it’s just sitting down with a hot drink… You don’t have to be asleep to be recharging, so just do what you can.
Don’t Keep The Good Outfits For Special Occasions
You’ll get gifted some beautiful baby clothes, and your instinct will be to save them, but babies grow at lightning speed, and sometimes those lovely outfits are outgrown before you’ve even had a chance to use them at all.
So the advice really is to put them on your baby now, and let them wear the nice things for naps, for walks, for just lying on the play mat. They’ll make a mess of them, of course, but they’ll do that with the plain clothes too, and at least you’ll get to use the nice stuff more often.
Trust A Small Network
You’ll find every possible opinion online, often completely contradicting each other – one site will tell you to feed every two hours, another will say every four, one article will say a certain toy is essential, another will claim it’s dangerous…
It’s overwhelming, and sometimes it stops you trusting your own instincts, so instead, find a small circle of people – maybe a midwife, a couple of friends with kids, or your own parents – whose advice you trust. Ask them when you’re unsure, and skip the online forums that will just make you more confused and stressed.
Take All The Photos
Even on the days that feel long and blurry, take photos. Take too many. Most of them won’t be perfect, but they’ll capture things you’ll forget otherwise, like the way your baby yawned, the first time they grabbed your finger, the way they looked at you when they were feeding, and so on.
Later, you’ll be glad you didn’t wait for the right moment to take out your phone.
Remember It’s All Temporary
When you’re in the middle of cluster feeds or teething or endless diaper changes, it feels like it will never end, but the reality is that every phase passes, and one day you’ll realise you can’t quite remember when it changed, just that it did.
This doesn’t mean you have to love every moment, but it does mean you can let yourself ride it out, knowing the hard times will eventually give way to something else. And you’re allowed to miss them when they’re gone, even if you moaned about them at the time.
