What I wish I’d known before I became a mom … because parenting isn’t for the faint of heart!
I spent many years ready and waiting to become a mom. As the time drew nearer, people began to shower me with advice and their experiences about children. Of course, because I had never had a child, I had my own ideas of how raising a baby was going to be. I thought the sleepless nights were something you get to used to.
Now that I’ve had two babies, I’m grateful for the “warnings”. Still I feel like there was a huge piece of advice that had been left out.
The One Thing I Wish I’d Known Before I Became a Mom
We’ve all heard: “It’s Hard Work”, “Get plenty of sleep now…”, “It’s rewarding”, and any other seemingly tall tales parents like to tell us soon to be first-timers. There’s all sorts of advice about how to get baby to sleep, breastfeeding, and potty training.
If you thought having kids was going to be fun, there was certainly at least one person to tell you otherwise.
But, the real straight-forward truth? That’s not something people dole out willingly. Though in retrospect, it should have been mentioned often.
You know what I wish I’d know before I became a mom? This is exactly what I needed to hear, and I think you do, too!
This is it:
Becoming a mom is going to make you crazy! Don’t expect that you’re going to always be smiling and happy. The images you see of motherhood only paint part of the picture. You’re going to look disheveled some days, you’re going to be lost and confused, and that’s perfectly okay!
You’re going to go through periods where you ask yourself why you thought having a baby was a good idea.
You’re going to want to get away from the one thing you’ve been waiting for all this time.
And, you’re probably going to feel like a shitty parent for having all sorts of nasty thoughts about having become a parent.
You’re almost always going to wonder “Am I a Good Mom?”
I’m telling you this because, no matter what kind of warnings I received beforehand, when my daughter came along (after a mostly wonderful pregnancy), I was hit with a reality no one warned me about.
To be fair, some of what we dealt with no one could have guessed would have happened. (In the following links, you can read more on unexpected milk & soy intolerance that couldn’t be diagnosed because there was no “allergy” symptoms AND a misdiagnosis of partial malrotation leading to an unnecessary surgery,: Part One and Part Two).
Here’s my advice to you if you’re a soon to be new parent or a parent in the midst of the first few months: Allow yourself to have your negative feelings about becoming a parent and express them (some other clueless new mother might just appreciate your honesty).
I would have given anything to not feel like I was the only parent out there that hated the first 6 months of our daughter’s life! Trying to make the most of our situation was extremely hard and it never helped that people couldn’t just be honest and tell me that the first few months may be the least enjoyable time in a new mother’s life!
It doesn’t make you a shitty parent for having some negative emotions because having a baby truly IS hard work that will test you in ways you can’t prepare for.
AND THEN – when you make it through all the first time mom or new baby stuff – you’ll come across another phase that sucks. BUT, you will get through it and it is rewarding! One minute I can’t stand to be home with my daughter because she’s in “fuss-butt mode” (as I like to call it) and then she’ll turn around and do something amazing or sweet. My heart melts and I nearly forget that things sucked just moments ago.
Then, I was crazy enough to have baby #2, and I’m going through all the same feelings I had, multiplied by 2 because it’s a roller-coaster ride between them all day. And I’m pretty sure I have no sanity left in tact at this point.
But that’s what I wish I’d Known Before I Became a Mom…
What about you?!