How Do You Define What a Good Mom Is?

by Ivy B
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5 perfectly good ways to define what a good mom is.  Encouragement for moms who may be struggling.  

I sat down after another long day of toddler tantrums. At one point, the oldest told me the cookie she received at the store wasn’t good enough.  I’ve cleaned, cooked, and wore myself out doing mom things.  Today seems like every other day.

My husband rarely asks me how my day went.  I don’t blame him!  He knows the shit show.

No matter what I do, I feel as though I’ve wasted my entire day devoting energy to things blowing up in my face.  I don’t do enough.  Nothing is enough for the kids.  They cry, throw fits, and generally act as though I’m not good enough.

If I don’t resort to a glass of wine in the evening, you may find me fighting back tears.

I wonder how it’s possible I haven’t decided to go back to work and leave the chaos to someone else.  For that matter, why haven’t I just walked away.

I’ll go to bed tonight and wake up feeling as though this will be the day I’m rewarded for my efforts.  But, as soon as the toddler arrives at the breakfast table, he’ll create drama and ruin his own day.  And, I’ll realize today probably will go almost exactly like every other day before it.

I’ll likely forget to pack a snack or send the eldest with the wrong lunch, because I should be reading her mind by now.  She’s almost 7 after all.

Have I messed up?  Am I a good mom?

Are these the sort of thoughts that run through your mind?  Please tell me I’m not alone!

These 5 quotes will help define what a good mom is, how to be a good mom, or remind you you ARE a good mom. Being a good mom is a matter of caring enough to worry you aren't | www.sahmplus.com

I know I’m a good mom and I know you’re a damned good one too!  You care for and love your children despite the chaos and the drain on your energy.  You keep trying and you’re always looking for ways to make things better for your family.  You feel as though you fail on a regular basis.  You fall, but you pick yourself up every day.  You just keep trying!

Yoga Club

Being a good mom isn’t defined in one way.  We’re all different.  Our families and their dynamics are different.  The needs, desires, and situations all require something unique from each of us.

These following quotes define what a good mom is to the individuals who have been quoted.  I hope that you find some comfort in at least one of the definitions. And, if you know a mother struggling today, share one (or all of them) to make her day!  You never know who needs to be reminded she’s a good mom!

These Quotes Define What a Good Mom is

If you want to know if you’re a good mom, just ask your kids.  The rest of the world can’t determine that for you.

Ask your kids what a good mom is ... #parenting #goodmom #momlife Click To Tweet

Angelina Jolie believes her kids determine what a good mom is (for her)

I’ve always believed that caring enough to question your own abilities makes you a good mom!  You’re asking questions and looking for ways to improve.  That to me defines what a good mom is.

If you care enough to ask, you are a good mom! | sahmplus.com

Sleep deprivation is hard on anyone.  I know, first-hand, just how difficult it is to do any “momming” without a good nights’ sleep!  It’s harder to think and makes one really irritable.

You are a good mom if you're not sleep-deprived according to Lisa Loeb

Being a good mom isn’t about keeping the house clean and organized.  It’s about the family you raise and the time you spend with them.

Your kids happiness is more important than the cleanliness of your home

“There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children. What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply.” – Elder M. Russell Ballard

a good mother loves her children delleeply elder m. russell ballard quote

BONUS: I love this really easy-to-follow flow chart from Huffington Post …. because there really is only one answer:

there really is only one answer - you are a good mom according to huffington post

Tell me: how do you define what a good mom is?

Everyone has an idea of what it takes to be a good mom.  Ask any mom-to-be what she thinks a good mom is.  She’ll have a fantastic (and unrealistic) idea about motherhood.  But, once you’re a mom, you know you’re going to question your every move.  And, you’re not going to get much help from all the judgement you get from other moms.  Worst of all, those closest to you are probably going to contribute to your self doubt.

The important thing to remember is that you define what a good mom is according to your family dynamic.  Be strong, be bold, and don’t doubt yourself.  You’ve got this mama!

So, tell me how you define what a good mom is.

Related:

Moms Shouldn't Feel Guilty for Having a Hobby. 4 reasons it's good for mom to have her own hobby and to take time for herself | www.sahmplus.comAccepting the mom I became instead of focusing on not being the mom I thought I'd be. A lesson in acceptance and self-love for who I am, being the kind of mom I am, and not trying to be the kind of mom I'm not. When motherhood isn't what you expected | www.sahmplus.comAccepting yourself as a badass mom. How can you define yourself as a badass? | www.sahmplus.comTaking mom mental health time doesn't always have to be scheduled. If you recognize the signs of stress and overwhelm as a parent, use these 4 quick tips for crushing stress. Quick ways for stressed out moms to lessen stress. | www.sahmplus.com

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19 comments

Janine Huldie June 11, 2018 - 9:01 am

What can I say, but thank you. As this past weekend was just one thing after another being mom including me being under the weather for my own birthday. But I just kept on going somehow through it all. And as I sit here in the quiet this Monday morning after my kids got not he school bus feeling just slightly defeated by it all, I read your article here and made me feel at somewhat better. So for that I once again thank you.
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Ivy B June 12, 2018 - 9:19 am

I feel like we’re always having it rough over here. My youngest always seems unhappy and the oldest is 6 going on 16. I like the idea of saving the quotes to help on rough days 😉 But, you’ve got this! Glad you stopped by

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Crystal June 11, 2018 - 4:36 pm

Being a mom is a tough job. Some days are bad and then some days are terrible. But tomorrow is a new day 🙂

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Ivy B June 12, 2018 - 9:16 am

LOL, you speak my language 😉

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Bri Adams June 11, 2018 - 7:45 pm

Warmed my heart. Great quotes and a really good reminder. I’m re-entering life after a two week vacation away from the kids. Today was a little rough. But we managed. I forgot dry clothes at swimming lessons. Water for the park. Wipes. I’ll try again tomorrow!

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Ivy B June 12, 2018 - 9:16 am

Oooh! I need a two week vacation from my kids as well LOL.

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Mary Leigh June 12, 2018 - 3:12 pm

What an encouraging post! I loved that Huff Post flow chart! Being a mom is no easy role, that’s for sure! But there are so many ways to be a “good” mom!

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Brandy June 13, 2018 - 1:07 pm

This is really great! I define a good mom by being caring, loving and able to let their child grow. Although, I call all moms great, because we are all unique and we all do our best as Moms 🙂

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Ivy B June 13, 2018 - 1:19 pm

I love your approach to this topic 😀 Thank you!

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Marcie W. June 14, 2018 - 11:04 am

Love this! I feel the definition of a good mom varies just as much as one’s personal parenting style. None of them are wrong and all deserve support. It is important to remember we are all doing the best we can.
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Ivy B June 15, 2018 - 4:30 pm

You’re absolutely right! We can’t possibly understand every aspect of each other’s lives, but we can understand that as moms, we do what we think best in the moment. We’re all giving it everything we’ve got, even when we don’t necessarily want to, right?

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Kristi June 14, 2018 - 11:03 pm

Good reminders and quotes for one of the toughest jobs. The “job” that never really ends.

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Ivy B June 15, 2018 - 4:28 pm

Oh man, your comment reminds me of the song that never ends …

Truth. We’ll be on call the rest of our lives

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Jaclyn Anne June 15, 2018 - 10:37 am

Thank you for this! I think I needed a reminder! Sometimes I feel like I am a hot mess as a mother but I do know deep down that I AM a good mom.

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Ivy B June 15, 2018 - 4:27 pm

I definitely feel like a hot mess most of the time LOL. I feel your pain. But yes, you’re doing your best. you’ve got this

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Jeng Cruz August 2, 2018 - 2:40 am

I like the quote about asking yourself if you are a good mom. As a mom, we don’t want anything more in the world than taking care of our families under any circumstances. Having this question in mind as mom gives us a higher level of reflection because we always try to improve ourselves for our family.

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Erika Ann August 23, 2018 - 2:47 am

Being a mom is a life time of responsibility and i’m just learning that. Its hard to be a good mom because there are different perspectives. But I think the most important perspective is the perspective of your children. They are all that matter in being a mom.
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