A guest post debunking common misconceptions about healthy marriage!
Once you’re married, you and your spouse will be on the same page about love, finances, and starting a family. These are just some of the most common happy marriage misconceptions being told to newly engaged couples.
Marriage is a journey of bringing two lives together and there’s no shame in saying you haven’t got it all figured out just yet.
Whether you are newlyweds or just newly engaged, you may think you know all there is to know about marriage. You may even envision that you and your best friend will have passionate sex whenever you want, communicate perfectly, and you’ll never argue. If these are your thoughts about marriage, you’re in for a surprise.
This article is shedding light on the 10 most common misconceptions about having a happy, healthy marriage.
10 Misconceptions About Healthy Marriage: Debunked
1. A Healthy Marriage is a Perfect One
When you’re planning to marry the love of your life you may think that it’ll be smooth sailing as soon as your wedding is out of the way. But the truth is, there is no such thing as a perfect marriage.
Marriage isn’t work all the time, of course. It isn’t even work every day or every week. But blending two lives together will inevitably lead to the occasional frustration or major disagreement over the years. All relationships need work in order to flourish.
2. You’ll Never Get Bored
Another misconception is that once you’re married you’ll be happy and in love for the rest of your lives. This is true, but only up to a certain point.
Maintaining love and sexual excitement in a marriage takes effort from both partners. You must be willing to build up your emotional and physical intimacy on a regular basis to ensure you’re both satisfied with the relationship.
3. Sex is a Given
Sex is an important part of a marriage. Studies reveal that the oxytocin released during sex deepens trust between partners. Even more research suggests that sexual satisfaction in a marriage was also the highest predictor of emotional intimacy in couples.
But being married doesn’t mean sex is guaranteed. Work hard to maintain passion, romance, and to court your partner. This will make sex more passionate and exciting.
4. You Know Each Other Completely Before Marriage
You may have thought you knew each other before you got married, but after tying the knot you’ll learn more than you ever thought possible about your sweetheart. People constantly change and grow, meaning as the years go by, you will always find something new to learn about your spouse.
5. A Marriage and a Wedding are the Same Things
Here is some solid advice for newlyweds: your wedding and your marriage are not the same thing. And thank goodness for that! Your wedding may have been beautiful, sentimental, and fun, but it was also a lot of money and work. Not to mention the stress of it all.
A wedding is a party; a celebration of your love followed by some great food and dancing. But that is not what your marriage is all about.
A marriage is a lifelong commitment between two people. It is a vow to stand by one another whether times are fun or frustrating. Couples need to put in the work of making a marriage fun, exciting, and loving.
6. Couples Don’t Spend Time Apart
Another happy marriage misconception is that as a married couple you will never want to spend time apart. This may be true during the newlywed phase, but it varies from couple to couple. Some may want to spend all of their time together at home, while others may still want to engage in their usual, separate social lives.
If this is the case with you and your spouse, don’t worry about it! It’s perfectly normal and healthy for partners to have separate interests and maintain their individuality after marriage.
7. A Happy Marriage Creates Mind-Readers
“My wife knows me SO well, she should be able to tell when something’s wrong!”
Well, not quite.
Couples get to know each other better over time. They learn to read facial expressions, tone, and body language. Naturally, this allows partners to detect if something is upsetting or exciting their spouse. But it doesn’t mean they will be able to read their minds.
Communication is something all couples need to work on. Being open and honest with one another about thoughts and feelings will strengthen your bond and help you avoid misunderstandings and other marriage issues.
8. You Are Best Friends
One happy marriage misconception is that when you get married, you and your spouse become each other’s best friend. This is a wonderful thought. After all, who better to spend the rest of your life with than the person you have the most fun with or the one you trust above all others?
The truth of the matter is this: Some couples marry their best friends, some don’t. It is not a given in order to have a happy, fulfilling marriage.
9. You’ll Never Argue
One misconception about getting married is that you’ll rarely argue. All couples have their differences, whether it’s something small like leaving the toothpaste cap off or something larger like disagreements about having children or getting a pet.
Individuals have different outlooks and perceptions based on their upbringing. Even if you get along 99% of the time, odds are you and your spouse will have the occasional spat.
10. You’ll Have Children
Another misconception about a happy marriage is that once you tie the knot you’ll be ready to plan for a baby. This simply isn’t the case.
There is a large misconception about millennials not wanting to have children. Statistics show that millennials have rated being a parent or having children as one of their most important goals in life. They are just doing so later in life than the baby boomers.
Perhaps you and your spouse are uninterested in having children or only want to do so once you’ve had time together as a married couple or have established your career. Either way, there is no need to rush into parenthood just because you said: “I do.”
No marriage is perfect. Even the most satisfying relationships need work, love, and understanding from both partners in order to succeed. You may get bored with each other, want to spend time with other friends, or run into the occasional argument. Do away with marriage issues by following our 10 healthy marriage tips and banish marriage misconceptions forever.
Author Bio: Rachael Pace is a relationship expert with years of experience in training and helping couples. She has helped countless individuals and organizations around the world, offering effective and efficient solutions for healthy and successful relationships. She is a featured writer for Marriage.com, a reliable resource to support healthy happy marriages.