Life is complicated, but this mom’s 2018 goals are designed to help me fight the overwhelm and focus more on finding some peace. Plus, it’s time to get serious about organizing and planning.
In November and December, I was suddenly overwhelmed. Daily life with two kids (one being a toddler) is already pretty hectic. Add holidays and said toddler’s birthday, and I was on the verge of a breakdown.
November starts the seasonal celebrations, but in our family, they’re one too many. My Mother- and Father-in-law are divorced, so we usually spend two Christmases between them. Plus, there’s Christmas with my dad and often a separate one when my husband’s aunt can’t make it to any of the other events. That’s just Christmas!
In 2016, I began hosting Thanksgiving at our home, mainly because I was tired of attending holiday gatherings where I have to bring my own food since no one can figure out how to accommodate for my food allergies in the 4 years I’ve had them. And, because my husband’s family values Black Friday shopping over a Thanksgiving meal together, we end up having a second Thanksgiving event at the end of the weekend.
Holidays are overwhelming. Life is hectic. And at the end of this year, I’ve finally realized I’ve got to make some changes to save my sanity. I don’t like to make New Year’s Resolutions, but I do need to make some goals to lighten commitments that aren’t as important and make room for things that are important AND bring me joy. This mom’s 2018 goals need to include more time to reboot, take care of myself, and make our lives a little easier.
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Schedule mommy time!
I straight up am blocking off hours or entire days at least once a month and in advance. I don’t necessarily have a plan other than to get out of the house, away from the kids, and just not become seriously overdue for a mom’s night out.
I schedule and plan around everyone else’s activities and this Mom’s 2018 goals include penciling in my own activities. And on occasion, if the family has to work around it, we all need to be okay with it. I don’t want to feel guilty for putting myself first on occasion.
Feel less guilty about the days I take for myself.
In a recent FULL day off, I caught myself wondering about the kids and feeling guilty that I wasn’t at home doing “my job.” I do so much … make breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I put the toddler down for a nap. When my daughter needs help with homework, I’m usually in charge of that. I’m in charge of keeping routines, making appointments, and planning everything. I hadn’t been out for myself in a while, and I certainly never take a full day off. So, why in the world should I feel guilty that I finally did it? I shouldn’t! It’s my goal to make a day off a regular occurrence.
Spend a little money on myself every month. I have holy shirts and *gasp* some holy undies. That’s so freaking embarrassing. Usually, when I want something (or even need something), I throw it on my Amazon wish list and wait for someone else to buy it for me. And then, at the end of the year, when I haven’t received it, I may get a little disappointed. As a SAHM, I don’t earn a regular income, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be able to buy something when I need or really want something, within reason. Or, if I want to pay to have my hair professionally straightened every quarter, why shouldn’t I be able to show myself my desires are as important as the rest of my family?
Keep up with a twice a day face routine to fight the signs of aging.
This year, I really started to see a change in my face. I haven’t decided if it’s from my autoimmune disease or the highly volatile toddler aging me, but I’m totally aging.
I’ve never been into skin care, but at the end of 2017, I purchased a small set to get me started. I’m notorious for starting a routine and then accidentally skipping a day… and then it turns into routinely skipping days.
This year, I’m determined to keep on top of it. Heck, I should just have said I want to to better about creating and keeping routines I set for myself, like keeping the aloe plant alive I received from my IKEA preview.
Learn how to use my Cricut Maker!
My husband bought me a Cricut Maker for Christmas. While I don’t consider myself “crafty,” I have already found some creative ideas for using it. In fact, the first weekend I had it, I created an uppercase felt alphabet that I was too lazy to cut by hand for the last 3 years. And I want to do so much more!
Put more effort into our date-nights-in
A while back, my husband and I instilled a weekly date-night-in to continue focusing on our marriage. We’d become fairly complacent in our nightly routine of getting the kids to bed, turning on the TV, and playing on our computers. Sometimes it felt as though we were mainly roommates.
We knew getting out weekly for a date night wasn’t going to be easy, so this was our answer. Friday nights have been designated as Date-Night-In. And it’s been working, for the most part, but we lack any sense of planning ahead.
Friday night rolls around and once the kids are in bed, we begin asking what movie we’re watching or what game we’re playing. By the time we decide or download a new movie, we’re in rush mode to get the movie to finish before we need to get to bed to tackle Saturdays.
It’s my hope to start putting in more effort to pre-planning. At the very least, I want to start researching movies that sound good. I specifically love movies that make us think and get us discussing our opinions on the subject.
Find someone to babysit for a more regular date night out.
We’d love to get out more than one weekend a month. And our date-night-ins are cool, but it would be nice to get dressed in more than jeans and a holey t-shirt to spend time with my husband. But, his mom watches two of our nephews for long house, so rarely has much time outside of her duties with them. And, we don’t want to start getting ready to leave the house at 8pm.
From the alternate side, my dad lives close to an hour away, so having him watch the kids takes a bit of planning. Much more than a couple hours out of the house is worth on a regular basis.
I think it’s time to admit that the cost of a babysitter once a month or so would be worth it just to have one date night that isn’t in the house in our boring loungewear.
Make a part-time income to help my family pay for home improvements.
In 2017, I said this was my year. Turned out, it wasn’t. I barely made anything. This year, I want to be able to say I contributed to more than just a couple cheap gifts and paying for blogging expenses. This mom’s 2018 goals had to include actually bringing home an income. On a personal level, I want to feel as though my time and effort spent writing, editing, and sharing are valuable monetarily. I’d like to contribute to larger household expenses, but really, I want to sock away a little cash for some home improvements I’d like to see. Basically, I just want to add a little bonus to our lives and invest in the home we’ve selected as our forever home.
This mom’s 2018 goals for blogging organization include scheduling topics by day of week and writing on more of the topics I had planned. I’d gotten into a rut in 2017, mainly writing about parenting and natural birth, but that wasn’t my intention for this blog.
Yes, some of those topics are part of the blog, but I also wanted to remind parents that they’re more than just those topics. Specifically, there’s more to life than being a mom. I want to organize my thoughts around subjects outside of parenting, because I’m also a wife and an individual with my own needs and hopes for my future. I want to inspire moms to think about themselves outside of their roles as parents.
Get better with SEO
It’s important to me that my writing reach people. I started blogging because I wanted to share information and I renamed my blog to SAHM, plus… because I wanted to help stay at home moms find balance in their lives. It doesn’t do much good if I can’t get a handle on SEO to have people stumble on my work. So, I need to really focus on getting my words out there for the general public in a more efficient way than hoping social media does the work.
This mom’s 2018 goals are mainly to become a better version of my current self, I just have to begin focusing again on things that make me happy. I need to give my marriage more intentional attention. And I need to organize and plan better to accommodate for the unrealistic demands to be super moms.