Accepting Yourself as a Badass Mom is Important

by Ivy B
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Encouragement for moms – ready to accept yourself as a badass mom? For 2018, I urge you to accept yourself for who you are and define and accept yourself for the badass you are! 

When my first baby was born, my entire life changed.  Just two years before her, I was married for the first time.  I’d barely learned about being a wife (much less a good one) and now I was learning to be a mom.

When I say “my entire life changed” I don’t exactly mean for the better, either.

I lost a sense of myself.  I was so busy focusing on everyone else, everything about me was pushed to the side.  In fact, I’d nearly pushed my husband aside too.

I believed my life was all about raising a healthy, happy baby.  And, while I was failing miserably at that, I lost myself.  Everything I’d been up to then was gone.

I’d already given up my fun little manual shift car.  I sold my motorcycle.  I traded all my “me time” for breastfeeding, bottles, and no sleep.  I wrongly assumed my entire life revolved around that baby.

I suffered miserably.  I hadn’t realized, then, that every day I didn’t take care of myself was another day I wasn’t being the best mom (or wife) I could potentially be.  By pushing my own needs and wants to the side, neglecting myself, I wasn’t happy.  And I was making everyone miserable right along with me.

Fast forward to now, 6 years later.  I take time almost every month to at least get a hair cut.  On a monthly basis, my husband and I Autocross.  Since cars were how we met, it was only fitting that we do this hobby together.  And when I’ve slacked on taking care of myself, my husband kindly reminds me that I’m overdue.  I’m pretty sure it’s self-preservation for himself as he finds ways to tell me I’m turning into a lunatic without actually using those words.

Looking back, I recognize that I stopped being myself, because I had a skewed view of what being a mom meant.  I had views of what a mom was, and who I was didn’t fit that view.  I tried to hide my inner badass because “that’s not what moms do.”

Now though, I realize I needed to be whatever mom was happy and fulfilled.  Not the ideal mom based on traditional views.  Not the mom the public eye expects me to be.

I needed to stop giving a shit about what you might have thought of me.  I needed to be myself.  That was the only way any of us were going to survive.

I began to accept my inner badass.  I built her up and let her blossom.

We’re not perfect.  In fact, we’re not always happy.  But, I have come to rely on my time when I can unleash my badass.  And I’ve learned not to worry about what others think of who I am.

That’s what I want for you.  I want to help you start accepting yourself as a badass mom … in whatever way that means to you!

Accepting yourself as a badass mom. How can you define yourself as a badass? | www.sahmplus.com

Accepting Myself as a Badass Mom

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To get over the hurdle, I had to define myself.  What made me tick?  What did I enjoy?  What didn’t I enjoy?

I had to go back to my roots.  I have always loved cars.  I’ve always been interested in guns.  I’ve always laughed at poop and fart jokes.

So, I got into Autocross.  I took a concealed carry course.  And, I don’t always get onto my kids about the nasty jokes they tell … I just laugh along with them.

I birthed two babies without drugs.

I still wear a 30-something pound two year old in a carrier on my tiny frame because it keeps me from chasing him.

And I totally enjoy changing up my hair every now and again.  My current phase is ridiculously short!

The more I accept these things, the bigger the weight gets lifted off my shoulders.  My life continues to improve the more I accept who I am.

Over the years, I’ve become a much better driver.  I’ve recently placed 3rd fastest time (for the second time) in a group of 50 drivers in our local Autocross club.

I’m much more irritated with the idea of more gun control, especially if you tell me “it’s a women’s issue.”  In my mind, owning weapons is my opportunity (and right) to protect my family.  And, the bigger gun you give me, the better!  I kinda like to think of myself as Jane Smith from that movie Mr. & Mrs. Smith.

via GIPHY

When I let loose and laugh with the kids over ridiculous, and immature, jokes, we’re all happier.  Sure, I’ll teach them the jokes aren’t appropriate in public, at school, or around a lot of others.  I’ll have them respect you at your house if you don’t like those things.  But, at my house, we’re having fun with it, because I can’t help myself and I don’t want to.  Seriously, stupid crap, like a robotic dog slipping on a banana peel will have me laughing to tears.

Important Steps for Accepting Yourself as a Badass Mom

What about you?  Are you ready to start accepting yourself as a badass mom?  Badass doesn’t look the same for everyone, so follow these tips to get you started on your journey to recognizing your own personal badass mom style!

Recognize what you love.  What are your passions?  Persue them!

Understand what you don’t love.  Reduce or eliminate things you don’t love.

Stop worrying about what others think of you.  The path to happiness isn’t doing what others want.  It’s about doing what’s right for you.  The right people become part of your life when you’re genuine.

Define what “badass mom” means to you!  Don’t compare yourself to others.  Whatever it is that makes you a badass mom may not be the same as other moms.  Sure, your friend handles tantrums with such grace and composure and you wish you could do that.  But, I guarantee you have a quality or two she’d give a right arm for, herself.  Just tell yourself “[x] makes me a badass mom.”

Don’t downplay your inner badass.  Whatever awesome quality you have should be on display.  You should be proud of it.  Even if it seems mundane to you, make it awesome.  Call it your super power if you must.  Whatever it takes to recognize you’re a badass mom, do it!

Know that accepting yourself for who you are teaching your children a valuable lesson in self-worth.  You’re modeling what you hope for them.  And, what mom wants to stifle their children, especially their good qualities, right?

Let’s all own our inner badass and let it shine.  Will you join me in accepting yourself as a badass mom?

Go ahead and tell me what makes you a badass mom!

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9 comments

Janine Huldie January 22, 2018 - 8:43 am

Absolutely love your advice here and need to start taking a bit of it myself. Oh and by the way, still loving your new haircut, too 🙂

Ivy B January 22, 2018 - 1:45 pm

Aww, thanks 😀 I’m really finding myself in a better place the more I just accept what is and make the most of some things I don’t like too. Good luck on your journey! I’d love to know in what way(s) you are a badass 😀

Jennifer M. January 22, 2018 - 6:20 pm

You are so right. It’s so important to take care of ourselves. It’s easy to put all of our focus on our precious little ones. But it’s important for us not to lose ourselves and our own passions just because we’ve expanded our family. Great reminders, thanks!

Bri Adams January 23, 2018 - 12:38 am

Oh that was SO me after my first baby. It was so confusing and I lost myself as well. I’d never experienced depression before and was a shock when I finally realized what was happening to me. I’m happy to say I’m much better at taking care of myself but what makes me happy is my work and when I focus too much on my work I neglect my kiddos so I have to be careful to balance the two. Love that you can embrace your awesomeness!!

Bianca Knauf January 24, 2018 - 6:37 am

Awesome article! As a new mom, my focus was on being a “good” mom and this came with insane, self imposed and social pressures which resulted in me giving up a lot of myself. Fortunately, the pure exhaustion of maintaining that state faded, and I returned to the “bad ass” version of me. I believe children learn from the confidence and certainty they see in their parents and I love to see that wild, free and adventurous spirit in my 8 year old son… for which I’m clearly taking credit for 😀

Un coup de peigne March 8, 2018 - 1:55 am

Having time to take of ourselves is the best gift we can make to ourselves.

Marry Johnsan May 14, 2018 - 10:03 am

Neurotic depression is a feeling of sadness & regrets to real identity issues in a depressed individual. It is connected with an absence of certainty, confidence & with failure to express depressed feelings. Learn how to deal with neurotic depression?

Karen Ching May 18, 2018 - 5:03 am

So much appreciation for this post. Thank you so much for sharing this. Cheers to all the mommas out there. So much love! <3

Ivy B May 18, 2018 - 1:53 pm

<3 Thank you for visiting, I love hearing from my readers <3 Go out and find your badass! I'd love to hear what makes you a badass mom!

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