Moms shouldn’t feel guilty for having a hobby and do things for themselves! So, why do they often fall prey to this guilt? If you’re feeling it, you might like some of this encouragement for moms!
How did you feel when you had your first baby?
Enamored, most likely.
But did you experience any sense of overwhelm? Maybe a loss of personal identity?
It took me nearly a year to get it through my head that I was more than just a mom. With the birth of my first baby, I struggled with my identity. I’d had the misguided notion that once I became a mom, that was the most important, and only, job I had.
I’m not saying becoming a mother isn’t the most important role you’ll ever play. It most certainly is. However, it isn’t the only role you play.
If you’re anything like I was, you put yourself and your marriage on the back burner. You believe your child comes before you and your husband. If you never fell into that trap, I’m impressed and ridiculously happy for you. But, if you did fall into that routine, or are currently in it, you need to get out of that mentality. Your husband wants you to know that there’s more to your life than being a mom. And your sanity and well-being depends on this knowledge.
Aside from our own personal struggles, moms these days are busy trying to be super moms. With the introduction of Pinterest, many of us feeling we need to earn an income (even if we’re stay at home moms), and rushing the kids to the various after school activities (which are probably more than they need), we’re more stressed than ever before. Moms are in need of lifestyle choices that help us find more joy and reduce the overwhelm. Finding and actively participating in a hobby may be just what you need. And, you shouldn’t feel guilty about it!
Why Moms Shouldn’t Feel Guilty for Having a Hobby
Stress and Tension Reliever
When moms spend time on a hobby, it can replace negative thoughts with more positive thoughts and feelings. Your hobby or creative outlet can lift your spirits and even help with depression.
A hobby usually provides intellectual stimulation, while at the same time, relaxing opportunities. Repetitive actions, like those in knitting, can be especially calming. The results of a hobby are unmatched to those from passive activities (like watching television).
Modeling Healthy Habits
This is one of my favorite reasons moms shouldn’t feel guilty for having a hobby to herself.
Think about how often you’re hounding your kids to pick an after school activity.
As parents, we’re diligently encouraging our children to have hobbies. We happily pay for their lessons. We schedule the time to drive them to and from their activities. Moms do this because we want our children to grow and better themselves in areas they’re interested in. We understand this is an investment in their future.
But, once we’re moms, it’s easy to forget that we need to continue our own personal growth. We need to learn new skills. Our personal hobbies can also connect us to people who share our interests.
Moms with hobbies maintain a separate identity from their families. This helps us maintain that we’re real people and not just a mom. What better way to model healthy habits and boundaries to our kids, right?
Refreshing Change from Routine
As a stay at home mom, I can tell you that day-in and day-out, it all looks the same. Housework and childcare is pretty much repetitive. And it’s problematic with little ones at home to help destroy the house in the process.
It’s frustrating when it doesn’t look like you’ve accomplished much of anything, doesn’t it?
It’s possible to pursue a for, not only enjoyment, but to provide value to the family. You can sew clothing or turn your hobby into an additional source of income.
Other hobbies, like tennis, gardening, or Zumba can provide healthy benefits from the exercise. This is beneficial for your mind and body.
Great for Your Relationships
Aside from being good for your own state of mind. having a hobby of your own is excellent for friendships and your relationship with your husband.
By reminding yourself of your individuality, you’ll be more confident and can build good friendships with like-minded individuals. And, your husband will appreciate talking about something other than the kids all the time.
Tell me: Do you ever feel guilty about taking time for yourself?
If you’ve wondered about pursuing a hobby, but felt a sense of guilt over taking time away from the family, you shouldn’t. Moms shouldn’t feel guilty for having a hobby because it’s beneficial and healthy, not only for herself, but for her family.
Think you don’t have time? Put YOU time on the calendar. It’s okay to occasionally rearrange the schedule to fit some time in for yourself and your favorite pastime. And, if you need to, tell yourself to get off your favorite social media site and spend the time more wisely actively working on your hobby. (Don’t worry, we all have bad social media habits).
This is such great advice, because as a mom I get the so-called mom guilt here in spades. So, even the littlest thing that I can do for me is I think well-deserved and needed for sanity’s sake in all honesty. So thanks for not only advice, but the simple reminder here today, too!
I needed to read this! I still feel like I am just a mom. A special needs mom. I feel like I don’t have time for anything else and yes, I am overwhelmed. I really should take time for myself, before I really do go fully mad.
I often feel so guilty when it comes to my kids. Having the 2yo at home means I can’t volunteer at the kids’ school, and then work takes more time away, and so on and so forth. But I totally agree that all parents need to have something of their own to help maintain their identity through the parenting years. Thanks so much for the reassurance!
Ugh, this is so tough, but so necessary! I feel like it’s something all parents struggle with, and social media often makes it worse. I love the idea that this helps us “model healthy habits and boundaries to our kids”!
I think having a hobby gives me something more to talk about than just my kids. It rounds me out as a mom. Thanks for the article and insight!
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