Have you ever been seriously overdue for a mom’s night out? I have. Thankfully my husband recognized the signs and forced me out of the house with a budget. What you can learn from my mom’s night out deficit!
As a stay at home mom, I know how hard it is to feel comfortable spending money on yourself. When was the last time you spent money on yourself and on what?
Recently, hubby insisted I spend money on myself and just take care of me!
I’d been months overdue for a mom’s night out and he practically shoved me out of the house (maybe that’s an exaggeration). On the way out, he handed me a wad of cash and said “I expect that none of this comes back home. ” I was instructed to spend money on myself and not to buy a single thing for anyone else. “I don’t care if you buy yourself a dress, food, or wine. Whatever makes you happy. And if you spend more than this, I’m okay with that too.”
I’d already planned on getting my hair cut that night as was my regular 4 -6 week routine. So, I clarified “is this in addition to my hair cut?” Certainly, I’d not expected that … I always feel guilty about spending the money I do on my hair cuts.
“Yes, in addition to your hair cut,” he replied.
You see, I’d been snippy with the kids. I was becoming snippy with him. There were times I walked out of the house because I couldn’t handle another kid crying. I may have been raising my voice regularly.
I had no patience. I wasn’t smiling or having a good time with anyone. I was downright exhausted and annoyed.
When My Husband Noticed I was Overdue for a Mom’s Night Out…
My husband felt the ever-increasing tension in the house. He was seeing all the signs I was overdue for a mom’s night out. So, he intervened. He stressed to me how I needed to get out and take care of myself in a way that finally got through to me. By handing me money and telling me not to come back with it, I was given a budget of sorts. This was exactly what I needed so I knew what was expected of me.
You see, I normally fight myself over spending $20. I’m cheap and I don’t feel I “need” anything. But this particular, I did what he said because I’d been given a clear dollar amount that he expected to be spent. He made it clear it was solely for me to do with as I pleased, so long as it was for me and it made me happy. I bought shirts, a dress, and a bottle of wine. Then, I paid to have my hair straightened before getting a badass hair cut.
I needed something to reflect my inner badass. That badass haircut required straight hair, and without my husband’s encouragement, I never would have spent the money to straighten my hair to get what I really wanted.
On that particular night, he delivered more than a night out. I was delivered some real self care. I showed myself I actually mattered. I remembered what it was like to just be me.
I came home with a smile on my face, feeling more like a person than just a mom. And, I was really excited about my new hairdo.
Of course, big thanks to the hubby for recognizing how far behind I was on my self-care and my girl at my local salon for putting a lot of thought into my hairdo to give me exactly what I’ve been needing. I came home refreshed and feeling like I cared. I thought I’d even put on makeup the next day, just to really give myself a boost. (The truth is though, I still don’t have the time for that in the morning, so it didn’t happen. But, I hadn’t felt good enough in months to even think about putting on makeup.)
My husband enjoyed my company and told me he was so glad to see a smile on my face. He, then, told me he enjoyed seeing me this way because it reminded him of the woman he married. It kind of stung. You know, because now that I’m a mom, I don’t ever really feel like myself. It stings because it makes me worry about my marriage. By not taking nights to care for myself, am I harming my marriage? I suppose so if I get to the point that I’m just snippy with everyone, huh?!
The point is, you’re important too. You need to make yourself a priority once in a while. And don’t wait until you’re seriously overdue for some alone time.
You shouldn’t rely on someone else to remind you to take care of yourself. Honestly, you shouldn’t wait for your husband to recognize that you’re overdue for a mom’s night ..
You’ve got to block out time to take care of you. While you’re busy organizing your family’s schedule, go ahead and schedule a date for yourself. And stick to it!!
Spend a little, when you can, on something even if you don’t “need” it. Maybe you need it more for an emotional boost!! Get out to recharge your batteries and come home to your family refreshed and ready to tackle the next week
Do something to celebrate you and tell me what you come up with.